Harry Potter The Serpent

has great potential, would like to be a bit more fast paced, but i think the author already knows that and that is his decision in the end. btw cai zhenkang it just the best as character, dude is jokes

when is the next chapter going to be. i am enjoying your writing so far but it is too early to think on weather the stpry is good or not yet

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Wow! I liked it alot! The characters feel *real*. Looking forward to reading more, and would recommend anyone who likes military, sci-fi or futuristic worlds to pick it up.Their lives feel full and kind of remind me of watching a movie - but one that I can't quite place. The pacing is gradual, fleshing out the history and surrounding world - can't wait for more! Only problem is... only 4 chapters? And it stops just when it's getting exciting :(

I think that you should work on the characters backstory and make them more fleshed out and more real, the world building is great and keep updating

"If Daisuke shows up," Kakashi began. "We do not fight him. We invite him to chat with us. We explain that he's been pardoned and tell him that Minato-sensei Hokage again. Then we see how the conversation goes."

Elle followed Adam's gaze to where Abby was standing with Jacob now at her side as they both looked towards Elle and Adam while whispering.

"So you did all of this for eternal glory, but how are you still alive?" They were immortal, him and his children.