I got to chapter 4 and now I am dropping the novel.There are two things that majorly disappoint me in this novel.1. The MC. From the synopsis I expected an intelligent MC. One that solves his problem by outthinking his problem/enemy or by using his inventions. Until chapter 4, one can see how the MC deals with his bullies, the monster that attacked him and his bully that appeared in school. That way is by stupidly rushing headstrong into them and by the way losing.2. No reaction. With no reaction I mean that all you get are sequences of events one after the other. You never get to see the MC properly reacting to any event. If there is, it is an unimpressionable sentence or two.The consequence is that as a reader you don't care about any event and any character and character relationship. How can one even care. Once one event is over, another event immediately happens.For example: Him waking up after fainting at the destruction of his town.You only see him reacting to his lost arm. That's it.He was not devastated that the town he has spent his whole live in is gone. His home is gone. His possessions and money are gone, etc. No sadness, no tears. No reaction to such a tragic event. You see nothing. The hunter signing happens and then he is already on the vehicle to the new town.Another problem is his relationship with his father. You can see that his father is important to him, because he is signing to the hunters because of his father. However why has his father not appeared again? I was waiting the whole time for his father to appear and them having a heart to heart talk. Nothing. If he can pardon his father as an esper, why is he not requesting to speak with his father? The last time he saw him was at a freaking town massacre. His father could be injured, etc. Why is he not worried or wanting to speak to him, if he is so important?
Fellow Pinoy here! Anyway, I've only read a few chapters, but here's my review on it. Things to improve:First off, there is an obvious approach to action and since it's a zombie novel, it is a must to have action-filled chapters. However, although the author does try to execute this, it can fall flat. Maybe it's because there's not much the readers know about Nile himself, or what even drives him. If it is simply for survival, then the narratives and descriptive words should be improved on more to elicit the right emotions.Good points:The author knows where the story is supposed to go, and Nile's actions are logical. It's also interesting to know there are "interesting zombies
First off, thanks for the content purple_mage. I've enjoyed reading so far. A few things I'd like to say. Please work on your grammar and spelling. I think you just need to proofread a bit more and it will fix most of the mistakes. In terms of the story itself and moving forward, I think you should really keep in mind: A. pacing B. conflict . Right now the pacing is moving very fast, which is fine, but just be careful because if you do slow it down, it can be jarring for the reader. The only real downside to fast pacing is character development can be kind of neglected in favor of fast plot. In terms of conflict.. I think it's no secret that our MC is OP, and that is intended. Which is just fine. You just have to get creative to write a real conflict for him to face. Remember, not all conflicts have to involve swords and bloodshed and who has the higher cultivation realm. Finally, I REALLY hope you, in future, put some love into character development, especially for the female characters (the harem). Interactions, dialogue, maybe even dedicated chapters from the woman's perspective? A little bit of love can go a long way. I look forward to seeing where you are going to take things!
Is it only me who really dislikes MC who transmigrate and mope around until they gain a system, creating a character whose only positive points are created by chance might be easy but is not something valuable for further plot progression. Systems are generally very easy to write, hard to balance and take away a major part of the excitement and mystery of a cheat.Anyway, the MC doesn't use his cheat intelligently, the OC are generic and sexual themes are everywhere. The characters are 12-13, why is everything about the other gender? Background of this world, the MC and the OCs is also very weird, almost like the author didn't care and just wanted to get to the good part of the story.
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