Ambition of an Immortal

Another sign-in system. Ugh.                                                                                                                              

a very interesting and well written story just wished it would release more often                                                                           

Kids loses his only friend so he commits suicid...........mtherfker is this a serious plot. i cant. somekid wants 2 die cuz he lost his only fking friend

From what other reviewers are saying this novel my kind of novel by so called “ shameless authors “ 🤣😂 so haven’t read it yet but like every novel I picked to read after checking out what others have to say. This novel gonna be a wild ride of shamelessness which is much needed. It’s not a habit of mine but with how stuff is now. A little bit of shameless reading is good for one and looks like author delivers on it. 😎👍👍👍

Okay, I read some chapters but for some reason, I cannot establish a clue about what your story is really about.TLDR, here are my strengths and weaknesses for your novel.Strengths: Unique genre. Good representation of the premise.Weaknesses: No knowledge of plot structure. Lack of description of what the story is all about along with scenes.I know for a fact that this novel falls under the sports genre, so I was expecting fast-paced action scenes of the players or something similar. I didn’t see any of it in the first chapter.I suggest describing the scenes (for example, describe the office’s appearance) and adding context to your chapters. When making chapters, there needs to be an objective of what you are trying to portray to the audience. You need to convince people to read your book.I tried to understand some characters, like Jeff, for example being the boss, but for some reason I cannot flip the page because I keep reading scenes without any context of what it is all about.Also, please improve your book title, so I can have a clear picture of what your book stands for.I appreciate your desire to represent the world of sports in novels, but for now I just can’t read the rest of it because of it lacking a clear foundation of what it is about.But you shouldn’t give up. Sports isn’t my thing, but knowing you want to represent it through your novel is making me want to read more. That is, if you revamp/rewrite your book.Good luck on your writing journey by the way, and feel free to message me in the forums should you have any questions.

AMAZING !! I just read two chapters and I was in !! The plot is very intriguing and engaging. Really loved the progression of the story !! Keep up the work !I am eagerly waiting for upcoming chapters !!

"And that's what im trying to tell you! Stop thinking about other people for once in your goddamn life, Gus! Think about yourself! Hell, start a life in England! Cut me out of your life, cut your family out! Just do it! Think about yourself!"

"so... miss mira, why you call me daughter princess? "this was rey first because the way mira call emmy is not false, she do think Emmy was her princess