good very good ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
Bro this is my favourite, i liked the powel scale in the one piece verse of this fic its amazing. ive read too many βclicheβ one piece fanfictions but this one blew my mind with all the suprises i shed a couple tears with xebec and the duo
I love these kinds of novels. When the MC is either a demon, monster, or a monster tamer, I tend to read and like it. Charms of Soul Pets is an example.
k... the novel is fine but there are a lot of things to improve on it, starting with.1. Its been a while now since a lot of people point out that you wrote 28 years old in chapter 1 when it should be 18 and it still hasnt been fixed despite you thanking a reader for pointing it out and its been months!!!!.2.world announcements as sometimes it shows the level of the monster, others, it dosnt. Its important for the level to be known as its a difference killing a lvl 10 boss while being same level than killing it while being lvl 30 for example.3.At the start, it was said that the time was twice as long in the game but then it was said that it was only 12 hours longer and then it got increased that 1 real-world day is 2 days inside which is what was said from the start.....3. the stats of Amanda in the game are way to high for someone level 7, her stats are 119 in total - 30 stats per level - 60 stats supposing she got all 10 like shadow = 29... Meaning her equipment adds 29 points to her stats in total, thats way to much...... either its that way, she got more than 10 in stats at the start or you messed that up.4. It bothers me a lot the start of the novel with Shadow and Amanda having to run for accidentally instantly killing the senator's son by making him trip on a rock... even if that was enough to damage his head it won't be enough to instantly kill the guy unless he was to fall on his head from a few meters and im sure that he could have reached the hospital alive even if he were to die from bleeding inside the head.4. it wasnt stated how the gang found out that mc "killed" the rich guy son.5. how come Amanda was working full time as the boss of a restaurant if she was THAT good in the game and she could earn thousands dollars... dosnt makes sense and she is even higher level than MC and he is OP6. Amanda's friend Jeny seems to be from a powerful family, how come she couldn't help Amanda from the rich guy? From what i can see, Jeny could have helped Amanda with no problems 7. how is it possible for a normal guy and girl to escape a hunt from a criminal gang plus the justice for killing a person, not to mention the senator's son!!!, the pair would captured fast and easy as they had a criminal organization and the government searching for them.... and even him becoming a high paid assassin while doing so lol... where did he even get the money for that!!9. The mc calls little girl the sister of his friend but she is 18 years old, same age as the mc.... LOL10. why he didnt buy a helmet for Tina? the sister of his best friend?11. The mc wants money but as soon as he gets a new equipment he tosses the one he had out! lol, he can sell those!12. Not much is known about the classes, not even the assasin class as what they can or cant do... Such as use 1 or 2 daggers13. No world announcement was given when the mc CREATED a skill... you would think that such an amazing thing would create a world annoucement but nothing happened...All things considered, this leads me to believe that you dont have any guide while writing this nor you are keeping track of things. Its likely that you must go back to read what you wrote on X chapter to remember instead of writing down important things on a separate file. I recommend using excel or google sheets to keep track of thingsK... try to improve the world background a little and give some more physycal description of your characters. Pls be consistent with the information given
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