Dear Myself

I typically don't indulge much in shouen-ai; somehow, I bypassed that phase and dived straight into the smut genre, making it tough to go back now. 'What, no cupping invisible shafts? How will I ever reach the end?' The lengths I traverse in my quest to read every yaoi manga (Totally achievable goal, right?)

It genuinely took me an eternity to finish this one. It dragged on at the start but picked up towards the end (at least it did have an ending unlike another certain Eiki book... *cough art of loving cough*). If you were to summarize the plot, not much actually happens. The story was straightforward enough to follow and might best be described as 'angsty fluff,' though I'm uncertain how well those elements blended here. I enjoy angst, but I struggled to connect with Daigo or feel anything for him or their relationship. Emotionally, he came across more like a uke... He's crying in nearly every panel to the point where it lost its impact. His portrayal was also inconsistent, looking like a different character in some panels. If Eiki had drawn him throughout the story as she did in her portrait in the Afterword, I think I would've liked the book far more overall (maybe that wouldn't matter to some, but for me to truly get into a shouen-ai, either the story has to be incredible or both boys need to look really hot... bonus if both are true). Hirofumi was certainly a cutie though, surprisingly funny at times. The artwork was somewhat stiff and definitely secondary to her work in "The Art of Loving," where she drew very cute characters compellingly (though I'm highly annoyed she never finished that story). For her debut manga, however, "Dear Myself" wasn't bad at all. She had some interesting ideas and themes going on - the best scene, hands down, involved the psychological conversation between Hirofumi's selves (best I can describe without spoilers), and I wish she'd incorporated that concept more.

One reviewer on Amazon noted they didn't appreciate the very end showing the characters three years later. I actually liked this bit (especially Daigo's development) and it added a hint of character growth which I found lacking in the main story. It made me interested in reading the sequel if it continued along those lines - I know there is technically a second part, but I'm unsure how much of a true sequel it really is.

Overall, this title will elicit varied opinions from different people - some will love it, some will hate it, but I don't think it's exactly polarizing. There are some, like me, who just don't have strong feelings about it either way and consider it somewhere in the middle. You'll just have to read it to see where your thoughts fall on the spectrum! :)

This story is honestly really messed up. The protagonist, Hirofumi, regains his memories after two years but loses the memories of what transpired during that period. He essentially became a different person. During those two years, he acquired a lover named Daigo, who is mentally unstable and relies heavily on Hirofumi to cope with daily life.

Now, Hirofumi no longer loves Daigo and does not want to be with him. Everyone around them criticizes Hirofumi for not accepting Daigo, accusing him of abandoning Daigo when he needs support and being cruel to him when all Hirofumi wants is to be left alone. We are supposed to sympathize with Daigo, but it's impossible when he is abusive and constantly emotionally blackmails Hirofumi. How could Hirofumi’s own family judge him for not wanting to be with someone he doesn't know?

In the end, they obviously get back together, but it feels like pity and lust drive Hirofumi’s actions. Hirofumi is trapped, a prisoner in this relationship. We are supposed to view this as some sort of romantic tragedy and feel bad for Daigo because he had a rough past and feels abandoned. That is beyond messed up.

Note that I deducted a point from my rating due to my personal system, which penalizes stories where the main character is sexually assaulted by their love interest.