I Want to be Alone, Beautifully Chapter Completed Discussion

My god what a ride this novel was, its full of growth and life lessons that can really hit you hard, its all about letting go of your past no matter how beautiful it seems and learn to face your present head on, its about being able to forge connections and fall in love even when you're scared what the future might bring.

This truly is a great read and I really want to give it 5 stars but I just can't the beginning is just too brutal you see.

The MC we follow here is truly someone you'll resent for a while when reading this, the decisions she makes are just so god damned f*cked that I really wanted to beat the sh*t out of her lol, like guys really this woman is cold-hearted and the first worlds are very damn painful to read through, especially so cuz the author here is a great writer and they really detail all the thoughts our MC goes through when living out her life you really get a sense of just how detached and uninterested she is from everything.

Now this actually has a great explanation and reveal but I really think author went way too ham on letting us see what a piece of sh*t MC is and kept her character too cold-blooded for too long, I think if they'd have started injecting a bit of humanity to our MC earlier on the pacing of her growth would be more believable and less of a painfest to read through but hey, I still think her development is really good but MC being so brutal really weighed heavily on me.

But again the reveals later on are just soooo good and the growth MC has is just muah "chef's kiss" amazing also adding in a certain aspect was just so perfect, like its so rarely usefully and believable used that I just had to tip my fedora to the author, MC is actually well I don't want to spoil it cuz it was a good reveal but I know if I had known this earlier I'd been more forgiving of our MC so yeah our MC is Spoiler

autistic, yeah I know how weird hu? You don't really get to see such a topic explored in this type of way and especially so in a Chinese novel but it really makes so much sense and explains a lot, and when you get to see exactly how that played out.... Ohhh boy be prepared for some heavy feels

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By the end im sure most people will love her and understand her just like me lol, just give it some time to let her grow a heart (Which like really kinda applies to this poor woman), I know some people hate the "just keep reading it gets better" but bro really don't let the MC from the beginning discourage you to keep reading the payoff is absolutely worth it, she's a frosty logical woman that calculates everything and always puts herself first, shes ruthless to others but even more to herself and she's just trying to live out her sweet memories without interruption from some shady system, but when something finally gets through her thick barrier and touches her heart? Well:

The most passionate are the most ruthless, and the most ruthless are the most dedicated.

Also a small detail I liked was that MC's writter background actually meant something and it wasn't just a plot point that never mattered, at various points MC figures stuff out cuz she's like "ohhh yeah I'd definitely write this sort of stuff like this" and shes rihgt lol, smells those cliches from a mile away.

Our FL also has some problems, and well while I blind myself to hers cuz I really empathize with her and really want to see her happy the stuff she does in some of the worlds is also quite f*cked but bro all these problems stem from our MC and well I can't really reveal much cuz I really don't want to spoil such a great character but just know she's a really lovable girl, her core personality is a gentle, sweet, helpful girl that no matter how bleak things are will always want to be a positive person.

Man I loved her so damn much and like the stuff MC does to her is just..... Now I know just because someone loves you it doesn't mean you should love them back but the way author implemented her love here is just..... Like damn I really don't want to spoil anything cuz all the reveals are so damn good lol, just know our FL is a complete sweetheart, she deserves all the happiness in the world lol, like really no matter how bad things get shes always wanting to stay positive and try to make MC happy and you really want to cheer her on, even the weird stuff she's doing is understandable, she's not really a yandere at all just very unstable in various ways that are spoilers, I could smell her reasoning from a mile away cuz I've read a lot of stories like this but the way her character played out was still great.

Man and again the overarching story is really good but all the different worlds are also decently developed and interesting enough, especially so for a world hopping novel where they're usually pretty bare-bones, they'll all have their own small but interesting side cast introduced and explored a bit, and something that I really liked is that previous worlds actually matter, such an overlooked aspect from world hopping author's to actually make the skills our characters learn in previous worlds matter but here its brought up acouple of times and that really satisfied me lol.

Bro again I gotta stress how sad those first worlds are, the fate of our FL from world 2 guys? Man I let out some tears with her ending.... Spoiler

why didn't you eat her birthday cake MC you piece of sh*t lol, and our FL slowly going insane.... It was so f*cking painful to read through bro, and im not exaggerating here FL really has so much mental problems due to MC's indifference and the horrible situation shes in that she turns schitzofrenic by the end and it was extremely depressing just seeing her fall farther at the end she doesn't believe MC is by her side in a certain situation and its so heartbreaking....

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And well actually author goes pretty in-depth in some worlds with some things that feel kinda useless and it hurt the pacing a bit cuz world 3 is the mandatory entertainment circle world and just like this review its way too long bro author went too ham on useless entertainment circle life stuff there, world 4 as well has this made-up religion were the author went into a bit too much detail in meaningless stuff lol, world 3 was fine but world 4 definitely dragged out, from world 5 onwards its pure goodness though.

Also you really gotta be paying attention cuz author implements a lot of the themes and emotions from our main pair into the background, like in world 3 the movie theyre filming parallels in a sense the state of our characters, same with the weird religion in world 4 everything parallels the mental, emotional and even the existence itself of our characters, yeah I know weird but trust me it makes sense.

The relationship of our main pair is slow and full of thorns but god dammit its a damn good one, and the ending man, my god that last world was just one great reveal after another, it ties up everything so good and leaves you deeply satisfied which was so rare lol, Chinese novels usually have half assed endings and world hopping/system novels? They're almost always confusing, rushed and unsatisfying, but here man, its definitely not perfect but again everything you wanted answered is answered lol and the mysterious unanswered parts are actually on purpose and not just cuz its a rushed job.

You'll really empathize with MC so much lol like the previous 2 worlds really make you warm up to her and understand her circumstances a bit but when you get to that final world, bro its a feelsfest.

I myself actually smelled most of the plot points from very early on, I had a pretty good idea how it'd end and I was pretty much on point, but it was still executed pretty excellently so it was quite cathartic seeing it all come together.

Ending really could have used 1 extra chapter though just to really tie in everything together more beautifully but well again it was very satisfying, the reveals for our MC's way of life, our FL, the system, everything we've been following is concluded in a great manner.

Now this one is actually a heavy spoiler kind of on the system so read at your own risk, very meaningful and meaningless at the same time lolSpoiler

I'm actually quite happy the system is just a good system that was programmed to bring couples who were good people but had sad endings together, like bro that's so rare lol, theyre always shady things waiting for you to let your guard down and MC being a tragedy writter is ready for some big evil reveal from the system but no, she really was just a good system lol and I loved that.

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But like reallySpoiler

bro what happened to the mom? Was the "real world" changed? Just who created the system lol? Why did it tell our main pair they'd understand in the future? Will our pair meet again even without the system? It really felt like the system was created by FL the author really teased that but that'd create a grandfather paradox no? Some details are just not explored and while some are purposeful others are the series needing that 1 final epilogue chapter but well again im still very happy were it ended.

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Now this really is more like half a review and half me just ranting and venting my emotions but guys this one really is a heavy experience full of ups and downs and a bunch of negative and positive emotions, I loved most of it but hated some of it, definitely unique and very well written and it'll stay with you for a while a big 9/10.

EDIT -

Found out theres actually an epilogue and an extra arc and it was..... Mhmhmh idk lol satisfying but disappointing, like the epilogue was way too short and it focused on something that kinda ruined the magic.

Spoiler

I was quite happy with the system staying a mystery in the end with some clues to what was going on, but in the epilogue author half-assed some reason that makes -10% sense, really one of those cases were no explanation and letting the audience figure it out is a better option, since its one short chap everything is just lightly touched on and feels unsatisfying tbh I just preferred the regular ending more full of mystery and charm

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And the extras really feel like some wholseome fanservice lol, kind of undermine the main story but they're quite a wholseome note to end on.

Spoiler

so now living in their original worldMC goes back to rewrite her books to give her heroines a happier ending, falls asleep and is actually transported back to the first world were she has a lot of regrets of what went down, so she acts like the lover FL always wanted and gives her a HE and procedes to travel to world 2 then world 3 to do the same, its quite quick and short chaps so theyre not really that satisfying but well it still put a smile on my face to see the melancholic heroines of past worlds get their HE, especially heroine from world 2

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Well sometimes the real endings of Chinese stories are hidden in the "extras" but here they really are just a nice side story, original ending had all the real emotional weight behind it and these are just funny extras.