- #1
Let me preface this by saying that I generally like this kind of dumb OP harem story, even if the writing usually isn't all that great.However, this story hasn't presented a single character that actually has a personality so far, nor have they had a single interesting interaction yet. Everyone has been a bland, flat character that maybe has a single defining trait if they're lucky. Now, relatively flat characters can be fine if they're used properly, and that relies on the interactions and dialogue being well done enough to establish an interesting vibe. The problem being that thus far every bit of dialogue has felt incredibly stiff and unnatural. The dialogue isn't compensating for how flat the characters are, instead it's exacerbating it.Just as an example of what I'm talking about I'll leave a bit of dialogue that comes literally right after these two characters first meet.Spoiler
「You must be Elt. I’m Phil, the son of the chief. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving my sister this time.」
「No, don’t worry about it. I’m just grateful that you let me stay here.」
I couldn’t have gotten to where I am without her help.
「More importantly, Elt. You’re pretty dirty, aren’t you?」
Phil said, his brow furrowing.
「There’s still time before the party starts. There’s a hot spring here that’s known as a secret hot spring. If you want, you can go there and get cleaned up.」
「Well, I’ll take your word for it.」
[collapse]Note that I didn't cut out any inner monologue to make my point or anything like that, it's actually just that dry. It literally reads like some disjointed video game dialogue, like when you have to pick options from a wheel, but none of them really feel right for the situation.As a whole, the story feels like a dry summary of events. While the world could possibly be interesting, it makes absolutely no effort to actually draw you into the world with its writing.