- #1
Around chapter 60, he just straight up r*pes MC. Like, in that way you typically see in J-novels and such. The blatant coercion, pushing forcefully past boundaries, not listening to MC asking him to stop.... The whole 9 yards. Originally, MC took meds that would "help the process along, " presumably a muscle relaxant and aphrodisiac of some sort. After this, ML continues to assault him, with MC deluded by either medically enhanced or genuine pleasure. He f*cks MC so often that he's actually missing meals, waking up hours later in discomfort and absolutely ravenous. He also continues to ignore the boundaries MC tries to set. Here's an excerpt, removing all but the dialogue to keep it succinct:
- MC: "I'm going to sleep. Really don't touch me today."
- ML: "Okay"
- ML: "I just have to hold back until midnight, right?"
- MC: "How can you say that? We agreed not to do anything today!"
- Ml: "So that's today. In an hour it'll be tomorrow, right?"
Oh my God.
He proceeds to touch him at 12:01. Of course. And this is just an ongoing thing.
[collapse]So while all this... idk, trying to woo MC? going on, everyone's trying to get him to regain his memories. Even MC, to some extent. What it really is, with MC, is that he's in constant fear of him remembering and then doing something terrible to him bc of anger over the situation and how he acted/what they did together (even with pretty much everything instigated by ML). He's scared of getting attached and then losing it all. This concern is not unfounded, though.SpoilerOccasionally ML has regained his memories very briefly, but when this happens in MC's presence, he always ends up hurt. The last time this happens (at time of review) ML realizes he must have done something and pesters MC about it to figure it out. He even asks "Or did I force myself on you when you said no?" And I was amazed at the sheer gall of that question.
[collapse]We get more hints as we go along that ML has a somewhat tragic past, and maybe there's a reason he doesn't want to remember. But the thing is... while the fear and trauma we may see glimpses of in the beginning were probably genuine, he - very obviously - starts manipulating MC with these feelings. Maybe he's genuinely still struggling with it, but I'm not gonna give a sh*t once you start weaponizing it. I've seen too much sh*t in my time in therapy (for myself and others) to find this permissible. MC is genuinely a pretty good guy, just trying to do his best and struggles when he sees someone suffering, especially with someone he's contractually obligated to care for, even if that person has been terrible to him in the past. And if you think you can read this and honestly tell me that ML isn't using manipulation, coercion, projection, guilt-tripping, and his greater authority/power to get his way, I can recommend you some reading material. Like the DSM-5 (-TR).I really wanted to like this, but I cannot, in good conscious, recommend this. Honestly, MC is doing his best to maintain a backbone, and with all the sh*t ML is doing, well... I'm really hoping for an arc where MC just leaves. Maybe an arc after that with ML crawling on his knees and learning to actually f*cking listen to someone he allegedly cares about. If this just continues in the typical way, where MC ends like "oh I guess I like him, maybe I've liked him this whole time?" Stockholm Syndrome bullshit, and ML never learns a single lesson about respecting boundaries and shit, I'm going to be very upset, and very disappointed. On hold for now, but will drop if I find spoilers and learn that I will be disappointed.