- #1
- Some plot elements are seemingly thought out.
- Science seems to be accurate- I'm not gonna check his work to make certain (though some authors rely on this).
- Some aspects of 'gaming community' are representative and done well.
- The main plot mechanic, goal, and method are magic, secret, and shitty (in that order). This may make all the rest less enjoyable- especially since a lot of the other characters are more human than the MC.
- So much forced plot. The whole community are treated as slightly more than plot puppets as well. Spoiler
Everyone acts as expected (even whole groups share convenient behaviors) unless the author want's to make an example of them.
[collapse] - So much ignored plot. Spoiler
Not sure why he abandoned his other home while simultaneously leaving trouble for his kind neighbors (and potential future wife (not really of course-- 'on rails' I said))
[collapse] - Subtle plot armor everywhere. Spoiler
The MCs vaguely antisocial 'determination' in a world pretty much depicted as 'cannot survive alone' s telling of the author's attention span and awareness of future actions (the the MC should want to play it safe in case things go very wrong. Lots of vaguely 'the author knows where this is going, so the MC can safely do this thing. Other times he ignores potentially problematic things (One player going of and causing trouble contrary to order) which (in other cases) could bring disaster to the 'commune'
[collapse] - The 'manipulation' dynamic, along with somehow needing to sustain 'proof of title' (somehow no one even suspects their experience is somehow not a 'game') - proves much of the above, and makes the story a bit less palatable. The worst thing is it's pretty much unnecessary. Spoiler
Given how much unexplained 'magic' is involved in getting players into the 'game'- he could have told them almost anything else closer to the truth instead- and still got the same (possibly even better) results. Matter of fact- not telling them for so long (and treating them as idiots) should only backfire- but 'plot on rails'. Worse- the players can't really die- but the MC can. Pissing off people who think 'this is a game', and 'everyone can respawn in 3 days' (or whatever) is really not the brightest idea if your doing 'gonna make players ragequit' level shittiness...
[collapse] - A whole bunch of untouched issues with the amount of power is behind the MC that could have been used in better ways if the author made an effort. Spoiler
Off the top of my head, the system (or whatever) can get any information from the past (addresses of anyone starting with only their screen names) - which suggests that more useful information is being overlooked. It can 'time teleport' (I guess?) high tech directly into people's homes anywhere- which is odd since the MC's in a resource crunch pretty constantly... So much magic stuff. All that feeds back to the players, and the of benefits of 'payment via gifts' could be an incentive- but no- we are fine manipulating people to work for nothing through deception. Although the targeting of gamers seems reasonable- targeting various types of college students and professionals directly (via... maybe a fake simulation instead) would be far more productive. Not even going to touch the seeming 'time travel' dynamic, and how that's always bad/creates paradox, because we like that stuff anyway- though the slightest effort to 'explain away' such concerns should be made- otherwise their just 'making their own shitty future' by taking key people out of the 'present' (and shifting their life focus).
[collapse]
- Nothing really... 'The author's need to control via manipulation?' I guess? I suppose that's a thing.