This is not bad as a light read, but there are several glaring issues:
This is a CN..... why are some characters saying "blimey" and "bugger"???? Girls are also referred to as "gals"... which in a Western historical context might make sense, but this is China.
- English nicknames are given to the characters without any context
For example, the 3 main characters: Yu Xiao = Smiley, Zhao Lan = Misty, and Zhou Xiao Zhen = Precious
The story uses these names interchangeably from ch1, which makes it very hard for me to remember who is who, especially at the beginning of the story when we are not even introduced to why the nickname exists. I suspect that this is an error in machine translation, because I believe the nickname for Yu Xiao is Xiao Xiao, which means Smile in English, and so her name likely gets translated as Smiley. The nickname for Zhou Xiao Zhen can either be Xiao Zhen or Zhen Zhen, which would be translated to precious, treasure, or baby.
- Overly eloquent and pompous language
This is somewhat my personal preference, but I prefer language that's direct and simple. Unfortunately, we are constantly bombarded by descriptions and adverbs and adjectives.
For example:
- " 'Don't fret about sales, ' Zhao Lan's eyes sparkled with assurance, exuding a vibe of social prowess."
- "Xie Meng Meng flashed a grin and said, "Your ward has three people, and Liu Fei's ward also has three people. How about you team up with one of the three from their group?"Yu Xiao scowled and shook her head. "No way, " she said, sounding petulant. "I don't want to team up with smelly guys."Liu Fei and his crew bristled at her words; their noses twitched with indignation. "We don't want to team up with you either!"Xie Meng Meng's smile faded slightly and she looked at Zhao Lan and Zhou Xiao Zhen. "How about one of you two team up with them?"Zhou Xiao Zhen clutched Zhao Lan's hand and shook her head vehemently. "No!" she exclaimed. "We two can't be separated!" "
I applaud such diverse use of vocabulary, but it gets really tiring when everything is like this.
