Shining Duos

I definitely think you could improve in some areas.

As said in other reviews, the grammar is quite poor but you can't be blamed for this as this site isn't exactly made for English stories, rather translations and for people who are attempting to start grasping the English language, which is difficult, mind you!

I do love the idea of the story, I really do, so keep up with that!

Character design is a little bland but I feel if that can be improved in later chapters and or by adding in some more descriptions in earlier chapters, say if you were to go back and review them.

Overall, 3/5!

This isn't bad at all! Really good start, and I'm excited to see where this'll go!

Let me know if you'd like me to go through the first 10 chapters, for instance, and give them a pass-over to make the style better fit for English readers! Free of charge, of course!

You thought it was a normal review, but no. It was me, DIO!

As I wish to deliver on the request of being entirely brutally honest, I must say that this review may appear rather negative. I focused mainly on what - in my best opinion- has the most need or potential for improvement (in the hope to help you progress rather than simply sing you praise).

The very start of your story has the potential to be immersive, but fails to grasp my attention. I think this is due to the fact that there is an absence of rhythm in your writing, something I noticed as well further throughout the rest of your work.

The characters feel sympathetic but I fail to imagine them. They appear to be cut out of cardboard and don’t feel like actual people. You have given me some idea on how they look but I would like to know more about the way they stand, their posture, their bearing.

I want to see more personality. Give me some originality. Give me some flaws! Dimples, scars, dry lips. Do they pick their nails? Play with their sleeves? Show me peculiar character details. Any particular violence, abruptness or charm in the way they move? A particular way they move their eyebrows? Do they make exaggerated hand motions when they talk? Nonchalant scratching? Do they look away at some points during discussions? Do their smiles reach their eyes?

As your reader, these things tell me a lot more about the characters than the colour of their hair.

I wish for texture, intensity and sensation.

The dialogue is fairly woody; it sounds forced and not quite genuine. As for the romance; it is a bit entertaining, but it does not thoroughly convince me and the ‘chemistry’ seems obligatory. I am not especially rooting for the relationship, although as a reader I need to get a secondhand infatuation with the love interest.

The overall quality of your grammar is rather poor, but not as poor as other works on webnovel.

I do appreciate that you clearly put a lot of effort in your work. I applaud your enthusiasm and sincerely hope that my harshness did not dissuade you from continuing.

The story is written well, the characters are unique and original and you can easily see the effort the author put into this novel. I highly recommend giving this novel a try!

Overall interesting story line, the characters are well described, and the world background is put together in an interesting way.

The updates seem to be rolling in, which is great!

The only thing I noticed is that there are a few issues with grammar, the one that stood out is subject verb agreement. There are cases when the subject is singular and the verb is plural. This is pretty small though, and doesn't cause interruptions in the reading experience.

Extremely interesting characters, abilities, and story! Very different from any other "magic" I've seen in a story before. I'm interested in seeing where the story goes. Definitely will be sharing this one with some friends