The story is great! The chapters are a bit iffy because of some word mistakes and such, but man, a VR Moba that's similar to Lol and Dota 2? Count me in! The story really picks up after the first few chapters, although the MC isn't OP and lacks any knowledge of the game, but he's equipped with very great swordsmanship, courtesy of Mr. Ghost-san.
The character development is also pretty clear and I can't wait to read more. I'd like to see how our MC takes his unambitious character and changes it for the better!
The author here Giving a biased Review.
Like action
Like Games
Like virtual reality Games
Then read Give this a Chance and if you like it remember to vote with some stones.
Insanely fun read. I love the source material (Hikaru no Go and League of Legends), and the characters are like ale and engaging. Story is well-paced, keeps you interested. I’m pumped to see where it’s going!
I was generous enough to read the first 20 chapters. With most reviews the first 10 should already suffice as to not waste time. Anyway here's what I thought:
Story Development (4/5): The author clearly has an overall picture of how he wants the story to pan out. The overall story arc seems interesting enough. This was the only reason I could bear to read so far. However, it could be so much better if the author weaved in background context and world-building to supplement the story arc. It helps the reader understand the pace of the story.
World building/Background (2/5): Bland. The author doesn't care to elaborate on the world and we are tunnel-visioned to what the MC is doing. The author makes it hard to visualise the world and the context/connection between everything.
The world so far feels like so instance-based. (E.g. MC is at point A then at point B). It makes it hard to judge the passage of time and the flow of the novel too. Also the author makes inconsistencies with details about characters and other stuff.
Characters (2/5): Characters so far seem bland and 1 dimensional. MC has no defining features about himself. He is literally a kid with no aspirations who is average in life and has a mundane personality. An epitome of a blank canvas.
Everyone else in the story has no defining context. They literally seem like faceless NPCs that are only there to trigger a storyline progression. Arthur is probably the only one in the story with some detailed background. However, this detail was mostly drawn upon from my previous understanding of Arthur in pop culture.
Writing Quality (1/5): Bad. So many punctuation and grammatical errors. Numerous spelling mistakes and sometimes the author put the word novice where the MCs name should be (Novis).
A lot of the paragraphs are convoluted and redundant and could be much more concise and fluid. The author clearly struggles sometimes in trying to express his vision.
Although this may be an ******* novel site, if you are confident enough to have this published/shown on the internet then please EDIT YOUR WORK.
Not a professional breakdown of anything but here is what I think.
So boring. Granted I didn’t read much, and maybe it gets better, but what I did read started to bore me quickly. The start of a story should be the good but with it getting stale towards the end, but this was just tedious to read. The idea is cool, and if it was done well it could of been good, but it wasn’t. The MC was pathetic, and there were at least two plot holes. Arthur was supposedly amazing, yet he wasn’t even that good. Supposedly 80% of households watch people play, yet the MC didn’t even know the basic rules of the game. Didn’t make sense to me, I’ve never played some games yet I know how to play them. Another thing, who would just allow a spirit to control your body. It would be horrifying, imagine it. Not being able to control what you do, just being a passenger in your own body. It’d scare he **** out of me. Last thing I’ll mention is that Arthur wanted to create an unbeatable sword art, yet didn’t immediately try and teach his sword art to the MC. That didn’t make sense to me. Having another person well versed in your sword art would allow you to see flaws in it. Just my opinion, and I’ve only read about 20 similarly themed novels.
Exact same plot as hikaru no go with a few tweaks to make it seem as though it's not an almost out right copy from the fact that old geezers play a virtual reality game more than kids.
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The character development is also pretty clear and I can't wait to read more. I'd like to see how our MC takes his unambitious character and changes it for the better!
Like action
Like Games
Like virtual reality Games
Then read Give this a Chance and if you like it remember to vote with some stones.
Story Development (4/5): The author clearly has an overall picture of how he wants the story to pan out. The overall story arc seems interesting enough. This was the only reason I could bear to read so far. However, it could be so much better if the author weaved in background context and world-building to supplement the story arc. It helps the reader understand the pace of the story.
World building/Background (2/5): Bland. The author doesn't care to elaborate on the world and we are tunnel-visioned to what the MC is doing. The author makes it hard to visualise the world and the context/connection between everything.
The world so far feels like so instance-based. (E.g. MC is at point A then at point B). It makes it hard to judge the passage of time and the flow of the novel too. Also the author makes inconsistencies with details about characters and other stuff.
Characters (2/5): Characters so far seem bland and 1 dimensional. MC has no defining features about himself. He is literally a kid with no aspirations who is average in life and has a mundane personality. An epitome of a blank canvas.
Everyone else in the story has no defining context. They literally seem like faceless NPCs that are only there to trigger a storyline progression. Arthur is probably the only one in the story with some detailed background. However, this detail was mostly drawn upon from my previous understanding of Arthur in pop culture.
Writing Quality (1/5): Bad. So many punctuation and grammatical errors. Numerous spelling mistakes and sometimes the author put the word novice where the MCs name should be (Novis).
A lot of the paragraphs are convoluted and redundant and could be much more concise and fluid. The author clearly struggles sometimes in trying to express his vision.
Although this may be an ******* novel site, if you are confident enough to have this published/shown on the internet then please EDIT YOUR WORK.
So boring. Granted I didn’t read much, and maybe it gets better, but what I did read started to bore me quickly. The start of a story should be the good but with it getting stale towards the end, but this was just tedious to read. The idea is cool, and if it was done well it could of been good, but it wasn’t. The MC was pathetic, and there were at least two plot holes. Arthur was supposedly amazing, yet he wasn’t even that good. Supposedly 80% of households watch people play, yet the MC didn’t even know the basic rules of the game. Didn’t make sense to me, I’ve never played some games yet I know how to play them. Another thing, who would just allow a spirit to control your body. It would be horrifying, imagine it. Not being able to control what you do, just being a passenger in your own body. It’d scare he **** out of me. Last thing I’ll mention is that Arthur wanted to create an unbeatable sword art, yet didn’t immediately try and teach his sword art to the MC. That didn’t make sense to me. Having another person well versed in your sword art would allow you to see flaws in it. Just my opinion, and I’ve only read about 20 similarly themed novels.