The story is interesting, I must admit that. I see that you're trying to portray the MC as a through and through villain who also has his humane side, which reflects in Li Na and characters such as grandma and Ling Chen.
But on the other hand, it seems as if he exists only to be tyrannical, to be evil and brutal, all the bad, unprincipled.
I'd say that your writing pace is too fast, slow down a bit, add a bit more description to certain scenes, even the fighting ones. Try to add more introspection on the MC's side so we can understand him better.
For example, the assassination scene in the manor where he cut the throat of the guy who slept with two women could have been written with more tension by describing his mental state and such.
Why aren't you already making him use his golden finger by entering small markets and taking non-perishables under everyone's noses? Describe a scene like that.
Despite being a character that's supposed to be both smart and villainous, he seems superficial. Some kind of male ego, a chauvinistic point of view is leading him forward. I'm see-sawing between neutrality and antipathy for him as a character.
For better reading experience, please proofread your chapters the best you can. Use capital letters, comas, all the proper punctuation.
In the end, despite all of this, I'm giving it a pretty high grade because it has potential and I did say it is interesting.
I always take reviews very seriously. i'm planning to re write 22 chapter i already have ready based on the reviews of 5 people that has same opinion.
So if you have any idea you want me to add or change please do notify me your participation won't go unnoticed. i will add your names at the end of the chapter and your contribution to the story.[img=update]
also do help me choose a picture for the novel from what i currently have or propose one if you think its more suitable.
i like this one the most
This is the most engaging novel I have read here on Webnovel. Keep up the good work author, very well written action scenes and descriptions. Love the action and the adventure the MC takes on. [img=recommend]
The storyline is unique, i enjoyed reading it The character design of our MC surfaces through his actions and body language. It's better than most books out thier. I was immersed into the story from just few chapters i reccomned this. Well done auhtore keep up the good work.
Descriptions are top-notch making the readers immersed into the story while still allowing the readers imagination to be creative. Story development is good and the MC is smart and most importantly, new and unique ideas. Well done. Keep up the good work. [img=update]
also i chose 1
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
Popular Reviews
But on the other hand, it seems as if he exists only to be tyrannical, to be evil and brutal, all the bad, unprincipled.
I'd say that your writing pace is too fast, slow down a bit, add a bit more description to certain scenes, even the fighting ones. Try to add more introspection on the MC's side so we can understand him better.
For example, the assassination scene in the manor where he cut the throat of the guy who slept with two women could have been written with more tension by describing his mental state and such.
Why aren't you already making him use his golden finger by entering small markets and taking non-perishables under everyone's noses? Describe a scene like that.
Despite being a character that's supposed to be both smart and villainous, he seems superficial. Some kind of male ego, a chauvinistic point of view is leading him forward. I'm see-sawing between neutrality and antipathy for him as a character.
For better reading experience, please proofread your chapters the best you can. Use capital letters, comas, all the proper punctuation.
In the end, despite all of this, I'm giving it a pretty high grade because it has potential and I did say it is interesting.
Good work and continue pushing forward.
So if you have any idea you want me to add or change please do notify me your participation won't go unnoticed. i will add your names at the end of the chapter and your contribution to the story.[img=update]
also do help me choose a picture for the novel from what i currently have or propose one if you think its more suitable.
i like this one the most
also i chose 1
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up
this is real good. The character development is excellent and the story is progressing so far is good. Keep it up