"A red meteor falls down and hits the earth killing several hundred people in less than three hours ...but he wasn’t one of those peoples."- How small is this meteor to only kill hundreds of people in three hours?- If it's a big meteor, how far apart did people live to only suffer hundreds of casualties?- Or did the meteor hit a small village, isolated from the rest of the world?- Or is the world population so small, that a meteor hits the surface of the earth and ONLY kills several hundred?- Better question yet, what time period is this? If this is the modern or future era, I'm guessing people had time to evacuate and thus only several hundred people died. And therefore "he wasn't one of them" meaning he was one of those who escaped?"Shun Hyun was a fantasy RPG nerd who while playing his favorite game “KPOW”(King's power of war) his life became a literal game of war when his brother gets attached to a certain Game."- First of all, what does this have to do with the red meteor?- Are you writing two different stories?- Several hundred people died, "HE" wasn't one of them, but we don't know who "HE" refers to.- Is Shun Hyun related in any way to the male who did not get killed by the red meteor?- The two paragraphs have no relevance to each other.
Alaska smiled knowing her new name and was feeling tickled. So, she replied, "I guess this is going to be my new nickname. And I'm feeling like all of my nicknames are more beautiful than my real name"
A large snake-like head pops out one of the holes, flicking its tongue and moving its head around. The head itself was 4 times my size. I stood there frozen with fear, with this massive enemy in front of me. The head spots me, but retracts into the hole, fading into the darkness in front of me.
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