I have only problem with one thing and that is your strong hold or your foundation is not strong on your story everything else is really good I mean really good it's just you are taking your story in fast way that's also good thing but you are not developing your main characters feeling not telling us how he feels because if you want to make your correct likeable by everybody you have to show some kind of emotions like anger soup your tea complex and defeating his own emotion by some kind of incident everything, this way he can understand and we can understand that he is developing in the story even though he has power he should understand or you should make us feel that is this character is real in our imagination and the story by showing us or letting us feel his emotion bye elaborating every small details if you can in his life that way you will make your story better even better than this is right now
The pace of the plot is moving too quickly, much like in the first chapter. Before diving into the story, it would be helpful to establish the world's backstory, provide descriptions of the protagonist's parents, and introduce the location where he was bullied.
While the writing and grammar are strong, the rapid progression makes it difficult to connect with the character's development and the intensity of his hardships. Add a chapter exploring the bullying experience that could help to build empathy and showcase the protagonist's determination to overcome those hardship. Despite these areas for improvement, the story has great potential. Keep up the excellent work dear author
I love the plot development and character design.
Aster is so cute I love how you brought his struggles to light.
keep it up author 👍 you got yourself a loyal reader
Popular Reviews
Good job author
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I wish you could push him to the peak of his power using more emotional force.
While the writing and grammar are strong, the rapid progression makes it difficult to connect with the character's development and the intensity of his hardships. Add a chapter exploring the bullying experience that could help to build empathy and showcase the protagonist's determination to overcome those hardship. Despite these areas for improvement, the story has great potential. Keep up the excellent work dear author
Aster is so cute I love how you brought his struggles to light.
keep it up author 👍 you got yourself a loyal reader