Not what I'd usually read, but it's very very good :) The story is really sad but well written. Allaine is well described and fleshed out. Keep it up author :)
Hmm..the title itself is intriguing, I'm not like other readers who just don't read the novel because of titles or covers.
When I read the first chapter, I had a hunch that this novel will show how poor live, like how they struggle day to day to make their quality of life better.
Well If I have to say about writing quality, I think the writer should edit it a little. Its not like readers cannot entirely understand what the novel's words are trying to convey but it is not attractive enough.
As for the story development thus far, it has been a nice read. There were some chapters which really made me think about people's lives.
Character design? Awesome. The description of how Allaine struggles from the bottom of the society to a rich man is good.
Overall a 4.4 star review by Archwriter.
The premise of poverty really validates how Jose and Antonio could let themselves in the pitfall of gambling.
You've done a great job in portraying the poorest of the poor of the slums of the Philippines. I hope Allaine won't pursue the rabbit hole that his dad got tangled in. I want to see him strive with honesty and dignity. Just one thing, hospital bills could be paid off by an organization. They simply need to be patient and process the endless amount of paperworks.
On the other hand, Antonio and Jose is as equally infuriating as Yanlei. Though Jose was better than Antonio, warning his friend of the possible repercussions. They agreed to Yanlei's terms and did not oppose it. They ought to have stopped while the pit was still shallow. I hope they think about the fate of their families in the event that they sink in a gorge of debt while the status of being poor screams at their conscience.
In terms of the technicality in writing, there are some grammar mistakes that I could point out. Don't worry, those are easily proof read. As I always say, enabling yourself to master grammar will able you to produce sentences that will flow smoothly. We all make mistakes, so this is merely a constructive criticism and I hope you take it that way.
For my suggestion, I think that you should have an auxiliary chapter for explaining some gambling rules. There are readers who already know it, and there are also those who don't. Hence, for a chapter that focuses on the intense gambling sessions, explaining the rules cut's off the *******.
You have a great work here and I'm vouching for the story that you've created! The thrill of gambling is well narrated in every chapter. I'm cheering you on!
First of all, the cover is awesome. For the story it's equally great. I hope for Allaine to rise soon and support others like him. Maybe a gang would be fine also. An interesting story.
I really like the plot it's something that's rare on wn a slice of life realistic fiction, it was like something new I found here.
The writing style of the author is damn good it's not too much descriptive but whatever is described is enough to make u see the scene in vivid imagination, character development and plot no need to mention are captivating once started reading I forgot about ch count and kept on turning pages.
Now these are the stories I like to read the first few part were depressing. But quality of story is amazing you can feel the ******* rising as stakes are increasing wellwhat i learned from this is never gamble and yenlai will be sliced once i make a chpater in casino.
How should I put this into words? My roots come from various parts of Asia. Even though I had the privilege of being born in a first world country far away from the poverty and was allowed to flourish, go to school, have an easy life etc. I still know, hear and see the struggles of the people, family who were left behind. Poverty, desperation - they are all very real and well described within this novel.
Granted, the grammar is lacking and would need an editor to work through it, but the idea and the story is still very well established and shown - and profoundly realistic.
This is a story of poverty, desperation, and the things people are ready to do when they have no other options left. So far the story follows male characters. I can only imagine and fear what the story would be like if it was told from a female's perspective.
All in all, I like how well the author writes about the reality of poverty in these countries. With editing and a better grasp on the English language, I'm sure the author can deliver wholesome and heart-wrenchingly realistic stories. Keep writing, author!
Popular Reviews
When I read the first chapter, I had a hunch that this novel will show how poor live, like how they struggle day to day to make their quality of life better.
Well If I have to say about writing quality, I think the writer should edit it a little. Its not like readers cannot entirely understand what the novel's words are trying to convey but it is not attractive enough.
As for the story development thus far, it has been a nice read. There were some chapters which really made me think about people's lives.
Character design? Awesome. The description of how Allaine struggles from the bottom of the society to a rich man is good.
Overall a 4.4 star review by Archwriter.
You've done a great job in portraying the poorest of the poor of the slums of the Philippines. I hope Allaine won't pursue the rabbit hole that his dad got tangled in. I want to see him strive with honesty and dignity. Just one thing, hospital bills could be paid off by an organization. They simply need to be patient and process the endless amount of paperworks.
On the other hand, Antonio and Jose is as equally infuriating as Yanlei. Though Jose was better than Antonio, warning his friend of the possible repercussions. They agreed to Yanlei's terms and did not oppose it. They ought to have stopped while the pit was still shallow. I hope they think about the fate of their families in the event that they sink in a gorge of debt while the status of being poor screams at their conscience.
In terms of the technicality in writing, there are some grammar mistakes that I could point out. Don't worry, those are easily proof read. As I always say, enabling yourself to master grammar will able you to produce sentences that will flow smoothly. We all make mistakes, so this is merely a constructive criticism and I hope you take it that way.
For my suggestion, I think that you should have an auxiliary chapter for explaining some gambling rules. There are readers who already know it, and there are also those who don't. Hence, for a chapter that focuses on the intense gambling sessions, explaining the rules cut's off the *******.
You have a great work here and I'm vouching for the story that you've created! The thrill of gambling is well narrated in every chapter. I'm cheering you on!
The writing style of the author is damn good it's not too much descriptive but whatever is described is enough to make u see the scene in vivid imagination, character development and plot no need to mention are captivating once started reading I forgot about ch count and kept on turning pages.
How should I put this into words? My roots come from various parts of Asia. Even though I had the privilege of being born in a first world country far away from the poverty and was allowed to flourish, go to school, have an easy life etc. I still know, hear and see the struggles of the people, family who were left behind. Poverty, desperation - they are all very real and well described within this novel.
Granted, the grammar is lacking and would need an editor to work through it, but the idea and the story is still very well established and shown - and profoundly realistic.
This is a story of poverty, desperation, and the things people are ready to do when they have no other options left. So far the story follows male characters. I can only imagine and fear what the story would be like if it was told from a female's perspective.
All in all, I like how well the author writes about the reality of poverty in these countries. With editing and a better grasp on the English language, I'm sure the author can deliver wholesome and heart-wrenchingly realistic stories. Keep writing, author!
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