The only thing I noticed is the whole shoving three different dialogue into one paragragh. You always start a new paragraph when starting a new dialogue.
It's quite an interesting fantasy book. I think you've got lots of ideas to keep the story flowing. The character names are also unique. I can't wait to read more chapters~
Good day to you! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email mollyringdom*@*gmail.com (delete *）We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). Looking forward to your email.
$115,500 for the Best Adventure Novels +Get Hardcover Publish
Hey Writers! Come to check out this adventure novel writing competition, both new and published stories can participate! This competition is mainly looking for four genres: Fantasy, Urban, Game, and Sci-fi. You can either submit your published works, rewrite some previous ideas, or create a new story if any given examples or tips inspired you! Web-fiction or Light Novel writing experience is desired, so you might be the winner!
For more information, you may visit: https://bit.ly/2ObQnRy
or contact Email lise.work2021@gmail.com
Hey there!
Good day for writing! If you want to see whether you can earn from your current story or new ideas, you might want to contact
rebecca.review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters, or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
Popular Reviews
/Dimisaurus
Good day to you! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email mollyringdom*@*gmail.com (delete *）We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). Looking forward to your email.
Hey Writers! Come to check out this adventure novel writing competition, both new and published stories can participate! This competition is mainly looking for four genres: Fantasy, Urban, Game, and Sci-fi. You can either submit your published works, rewrite some previous ideas, or create a new story if any given examples or tips inspired you! Web-fiction or Light Novel writing experience is desired, so you might be the winner!
For more information, you may visit: https://bit.ly/2ObQnRy
or contact Email lise.work2021@gmail.com
Good day for writing! If you want to see whether you can earn from your current story or new ideas, you might want to contact
rebecca.review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters, or links will be appreciated when reaching out.