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You definitely feel as if you are the mc. It has a good foundation from the start. Needs a few minor tweaks, but this does not take away from the story or flow at all. Has a really good start and for me a unique outlook. Keep up the good work author!
The grammar and characters have been fleshed out nicely. Your sentence structures are for the most part great! The breaking of the 4th wall is a nice twist and its not abused too which is good.
The only problem I have is the plot. What's Jason and Mo Zuo's end goals? This is his game so he knows everything about it, but what is his purpose? This could very well be explained later, but I just recommend making it clear near the beginning chapters!
The plot isn't the first of its kind but it is still a worthy read as it has a unique plot setting that differs it from your usual martial arts novel. Overall, this is a good choice for those who love to read RPG and Martial Arts.
Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.
Author here, so let me just give a review from my side. I plan for this to be quite a long series, maybe Around 1000 chapters. Now it may be called, I reincarnated as a system, but the main focus would be on bloodlines and inheritance. That's what the plot would focus on.
I reincarnated as a system would view my world from two perspectives, we have two main characters. Each one with a similar similar heroic personality, but very different. I hope you all won't hate Mo Zuo, he is young now, but I promise he will mature into an epic main character!
Jason is made to be slightly bipolar so understand if he acts one way here, one way there.
Unique and different. A person being reincarnated as a system. Just a few chapters but I am already hooked. On top of that, the writing was superb. Each chapter was written well. Everything was perfect.
Author, keep up the good work!
Popular Reviews
The grammar and characters have been fleshed out nicely. Your sentence structures are for the most part great! The breaking of the 4th wall is a nice twist and its not abused too which is good.
The only problem I have is the plot. What's Jason and Mo Zuo's end goals? This is his game so he knows everything about it, but what is his purpose? This could very well be explained later, but I just recommend making it clear near the beginning chapters!
I reincarnated as a system would view my world from two perspectives, we have two main characters. Each one with a similar similar heroic personality, but very different. I hope you all won't hate Mo Zuo, he is young now, but I promise he will mature into an epic main character!
Jason is made to be slightly bipolar so understand if he acts one way here, one way there.
Author, keep up the good work!