Hellportal

Author's Note

"I said wake up already!" I shout and Finally she made a normal reaction

Well it's definitely the author's first work, I can tell. I do applaud you wholeheartedly for actually sticking to the story and actually following an upload schedule.Well with that out of the way, I would like to offer some suggestions. The grammar itself isn't the worst. Obviously there are mistakes here and there (mainly about punctuation and sentence structure) but that's about the average quality you can find on webnovel so I wouldn't fault you. You are writing in first person POV which is really good for a character driven writing style, but the problem is that you need to include more descriptive language into your writing to make us engaged with the story as well as adhering to 'show don't tell' thing. You see, humans have 5 senses, but you only describe what the mc sees and exclude hearing and smelling completely which otherwise could have helped in making your world feel alive (here you can also use metaphors and comparisons like many authors do). You should also include more internal monologues so that at the very least make him somewhat entertaining to read, as well as slow down the pace a bit to make actions feel natural.

This is a VERY good and interesting piece.Urban Tux" is an absolute masterpiece that seamlessly blends humor, adventure, and heartfelt moments. From the very first episode, Tux, the mischievous and clever black and white tuxedo cat, steals the show with his vibrant personality and engaging antics. The storyline is captivating, weaving together action-packed scenes with profound emotional depth.The supporting cast, including Ace and Luna, are beautifully developed, adding richness and complexity to the narrative. Their interactions with Tux are both entertaining and touching, showcasing themes of friendship, growth, and resilience. The dialogue is sharp and witty, making each character's voice distinct and memorable.Visually, "Urban Tux" is stunning. The artwork captures the essence of each character and the bustling urban landscape, creating a vivid and immersive world. The attention to detail in both the characters and settings is remarkable, bringing the story to life in a way that feels both fresh and authentic.One of the series' strengths is its ability to tackle serious issues, such as grief and redemption, without losing its playful and adventurous spirit. These moments of emotional depth add layers to the story, making it not just a fun read, but also a meaningful one.Overall, "Urban Tux" is a brilliantly crafted series that keeps readers hooked from start to finish. It's a must-read for anyone looking for a perfect blend of excitement, humor, and heartfelt storytelling. Five stars well deserved!

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