I like how Daren is being more of a reasonable person than Marceus. I have qualms about using mockery as an encouragement. Marceus! You can encourage people without teasing and degrading their person! Poor Daren.
Evlin is such a savage! I can see why you have her as your favourite. Please give me more Lilith interactions!
I've read the entirety of the updates and some concepts still confuse me for some reason, like the origin of beasts and spirits, or did I just miss them? Also, the consistent change of characters in focus is quite distracting. I suggest that you dwell on a particular group for an extended window before moving on to the next.
The action scenes are quite abrupt, so it lessens the excitement. You do not need to use such complex words to relay an action; you just have to narrate to the readers what you're seeing in your mind as honestly as possible.
I don't think that your grammar is that bad. Although, I have noticed overuse, misuse, and absence of punctuations in several passages. Punctuations are like the backbone of grammar. It allows the writers the opportunity to have better transitions. It is our job as writers to study te very grammar aids in out story-telling, and we are always learning. In addition to this, instead of using just adjectives, can you elaborate more on your descriptions? The readers would like to see the vividness of your imagination! :D
I did not say anything out of spite. I hope that you take them as constructive.
I'll be cheering you one! Your story has a great setting and there will definitely be readers who will love this utterly.
This will forever remain one of my favourite stories. It's just so amazing. Have I read stories with better writing? Yep. Have I read stories with better world development and magic? Yep. Do those stories have the same character and personality and emotion and charm that this one has? Nope! Okay well maybe a couple but still! It's so engaging and so brilliant and I love it to bits. Thank you for this journey. Thank you for writing this. I'll keep following it and I don't think anything now can make me not love this any less than I do now.
After reading until chapter 150, I can safely say that this story is one of those glorious hidden gems that truly get way too little attention to how good they truly are.
So, first of all, is the writing quality. The writing is decent, it is not the greatest of grammar, but it makes you emersed, invested, and truly is comfortable on the eye.
The world background slowly improves, although, I have to warn you xianxia fansand the like, this story doesn't have the world-building you see in the 10,000+ chapters novels, but it does a pretty good job at it as the story progresses.
The characters are oh so amazing. Seriously, you'll come to love them a lot (even the villains) and you truly despise the author when you see bad things happening to them, which only shows how amazingly written the characters are.
The story development and plot are truly unpredictable. It's not generic in the slightest and has some plot twist, cliffhangers, and moments that truly leave you speechless. It is beautifully crafted and executed well to the point where you can binge read 60 chapters per day yet feel as if you've only been reading for 2 minutes.
Pssst, do you want to know something even more interesting? All those praises that I gave this story....are all for 1 volume out of 20 glorious volumes that each far surpass the other.
Hello, author of the book here! Please feel free to send your feedback on how you feel about the story overall and what you're liking or thinking needs a bit of work. Any feedback is appreciated!
Oh man, this is such a great read! Where do I start? The premise itself is so interesting and fun.
The world-building is nicely done, in depth and detailed and from the first few chapters we already get a sense of where the story is heading.
The characters, honestly I love them all, a great ensemble, even if there are bad ones, the author gives them depth and tries to justify their reasons.
The story itself has a mixture of everything, adventure, comedy, action and romance. Never thought Id say this but id like to see more romance haha
Altho I do appreciate the characters pov change, i feel like its a bit disconnecting to the reader if we stray away from the protagonist too long.
Or this might just be a story with multiple protagonists at this point, which works!
The writing style is simple yet descriptive and easy to follow! I really like it and the dialogue pops out but just a small complaint of mine, might be just my preference, but I wish author wouldnt just put dialogue as it gets a bit confusing as to whos saying sth.
It might be beneficial to add a 'daren said' or other character said.
All in all, great work and Im really amazed by your uploads and hard work!
Hmmm...
Nicely done, I must say.
I like the fact that although I know who the mc is, the story is written from different perspective the entire time, without actually mentioning who the mc is.
XD
Also, no glaring grammatical errors, with a good background of the world, and very well-expressed character personalities.
A very interesting story. The beginning and the end are unpredictable. The story is dynamic, the text block has some rough edges. But these are trifles compared to the magnificent content of the story.
Out of the 51 chapters posted, I have read 10 chapters. The story is interesting. The stability of updates is good, Story is developing nicely. The character design is OK. A world background is good but it is not specified which era it is or what place it is.
There are some issues with typos and spellings. The capital for 'I' is used less and the small i is appearing. At some places the sentences start abruptly and the inverted commas of the speech portion get left behind. These mistakes do not however interfere with the reading of the book.
I would suggest you run your draft through an online grammar checker. It will get rid of many of the errors. I also do that otherwise little mistakes tend to creep in.
Popular Reviews
Evlin is such a savage! I can see why you have her as your favourite. Please give me more Lilith interactions!
I've read the entirety of the updates and some concepts still confuse me for some reason, like the origin of beasts and spirits, or did I just miss them? Also, the consistent change of characters in focus is quite distracting. I suggest that you dwell on a particular group for an extended window before moving on to the next.
The action scenes are quite abrupt, so it lessens the excitement. You do not need to use such complex words to relay an action; you just have to narrate to the readers what you're seeing in your mind as honestly as possible.
I don't think that your grammar is that bad. Although, I have noticed overuse, misuse, and absence of punctuations in several passages. Punctuations are like the backbone of grammar. It allows the writers the opportunity to have better transitions. It is our job as writers to study te very grammar aids in out story-telling, and we are always learning. In addition to this, instead of using just adjectives, can you elaborate more on your descriptions? The readers would like to see the vividness of your imagination! :D
I did not say anything out of spite. I hope that you take them as constructive.
I'll be cheering you one! Your story has a great setting and there will definitely be readers who will love this utterly.
So, first of all, is the writing quality. The writing is decent, it is not the greatest of grammar, but it makes you emersed, invested, and truly is comfortable on the eye.
The world background slowly improves, although, I have to warn you xianxia fansand the like, this story doesn't have the world-building you see in the 10,000+ chapters novels, but it does a pretty good job at it as the story progresses.
The characters are oh so amazing. Seriously, you'll come to love them a lot (even the villains) and you truly despise the author when you see bad things happening to them, which only shows how amazingly written the characters are.
The story development and plot are truly unpredictable. It's not generic in the slightest and has some plot twist, cliffhangers, and moments that truly leave you speechless. It is beautifully crafted and executed well to the point where you can binge read 60 chapters per day yet feel as if you've only been reading for 2 minutes.
Pssst, do you want to know something even more interesting? All those praises that I gave this story....are all for 1 volume out of 20 glorious volumes that each far surpass the other.
Go on and read this marvelous novel right now!
Also, shameless 5 star rating ftw!
The world-building is nicely done, in depth and detailed and from the first few chapters we already get a sense of where the story is heading.
The characters, honestly I love them all, a great ensemble, even if there are bad ones, the author gives them depth and tries to justify their reasons.
The story itself has a mixture of everything, adventure, comedy, action and romance. Never thought Id say this but id like to see more romance haha
Altho I do appreciate the characters pov change, i feel like its a bit disconnecting to the reader if we stray away from the protagonist too long.
Or this might just be a story with multiple protagonists at this point, which works!
The writing style is simple yet descriptive and easy to follow! I really like it and the dialogue pops out but just a small complaint of mine, might be just my preference, but I wish author wouldnt just put dialogue as it gets a bit confusing as to whos saying sth.
It might be beneficial to add a 'daren said' or other character said.
All in all, great work and Im really amazed by your uploads and hard work!
Nicely done, I must say.
I like the fact that although I know who the mc is, the story is written from different perspective the entire time, without actually mentioning who the mc is.
XD
Also, no glaring grammatical errors, with a good background of the world, and very well-expressed character personalities.
This is a very intriguing novel!
There are some issues with typos and spellings. The capital for 'I' is used less and the small i is appearing. At some places the sentences start abruptly and the inverted commas of the speech portion get left behind. These mistakes do not however interfere with the reading of the book.
I would suggest you run your draft through an online grammar checker. It will get rid of many of the errors. I also do that otherwise little mistakes tend to creep in.
All the best.