Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.
I like the premise but you dragged out the build up to the party fro way too long. It shouldn't take 20 chapters to finally get to the party. The awakening was dragged out way too long, and every once an in a while you go on a tangent about his past thats not needed.
It started out very good but around chapter 80 the story just gets nonsensical and directionless. There is no goal or reason for the things that the MC does. He for example helps some human because that human has heard of a legend that MAYBE there is a way to help is parents and for that reason alone he goes on a suicide and the MC who doesn't even know the guy or has any connection and has way more important things to do during that time, for no reason suddenly decides to risk everything and follows and carries that guy and constantly risks his life just so they can go to even more dangerous areas of a pocked dimension.
My honest opinion and what I noticed, the story has minimal errors in terms of writing, it doesn't get in the way of reading, the release of a week can bother some, but due to the quality of the story, it's not possible to remove the merit just because of the capitols delay (I prefer quality over quantity). The narrative isn't bad, it's good. And about the story, volume 1 was pretty standard, nothing special that I remember, but volume 2, I thought it was very good, it was wonderful. But as everything that goes up will also have to come down, we arrived at volume 3 which is horrible and dark, not because of the writing but the course that the story took, and instead of the author changing the course he continued, if you don't believe me can you read the comments on the chapters of the third volume, do you want the reasons? The protagonist's behavior becomes irrational and a new character is as useful as Sakura.
People can come and say that volume 3 is to develop the character, yes, but you don't develop a character by irritating your reader, quite the opposite, you have to develop it by making your reader feel empathy for the protagonist and not anger. But it's no use saying that the protagonist had his reasons, the reasons are not clear for several capitolos making their attitudes irrational, doing things that normal people wouldn't do.
I want to see more lemon moments between Arthur and older womans. Children are a little childish so please write more about older womans. Thank you very much
Popular Reviews
Good drama- ✅
Harem(don't know about love interest but) - ✅
Good setup and background- ✅
character development- ✅
WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT? JUST READ IT!
People can come and say that volume 3 is to develop the character, yes, but you don't develop a character by irritating your reader, quite the opposite, you have to develop it by making your reader feel empathy for the protagonist and not anger. But it's no use saying that the protagonist had his reasons, the reasons are not clear for several capitolos making their attitudes irrational, doing things that normal people wouldn't do.
I would say that the main thing in this story will be the development of both characters and general and the originality of having two reincarnates