Beautiful. You have a way with words that make each read worth admiring, you've manage to paint an appealing image for the reader as your words become descriptive the picture becomes clearer. A novel with great potential
Everything that could be better with the story in my opinion I'm only in Chapter 13.
First, you should download Grammarly if you don't already have it because there are spelling mistakes, "or" you could also use virtualwritingtutor.com.
Second, the dialogue is weird. You would try rephrasing some sentences because it doesn't sound natural. This would be better for readers to get immersed in the reading.
Third, you could try explaining more things because I kinda got confused about how he knew all this stuff.
Fourth, you kinda add some unnecessary words in the sentence this makes it feel unnatural.
Fifth, some of the dialogue is kind of cringe this is my opinion Idk if any others think this.
A good opening with it's currently 24 chapters, the characters have a clear motivation and the story setup is interesting. There is some room for improvement in the writing such as grammar and sentence structures and in the more descriptive parts. Sometimes we get the explanation after it already happened which makes the story a bit choppy. Overall right now there's alot of room for improvement which at times take away from the story at certain points but also means that this already interesting story can get even better. Looking forward to reading more. Keep it up!
Love the story so far, thanks.[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
Can't really complain it's a great novel, love the characters . It just needs a little editing but besides that it's great, I got so caught up in Bobby Wan's character I like him lol, keep it up author love your creation but please don't forget to edit ........................................
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Shameless review here, I'm the author for the novel. This is my first novel so I will be happy if you guys can give some input on how can I improve it. It would be nice too if guys can left a review or add to the library after you read it hehehe
Popular Reviews
First, you should download Grammarly if you don't already have it because there are spelling mistakes, "or" you could also use virtualwritingtutor.com.
Second, the dialogue is weird. You would try rephrasing some sentences because it doesn't sound natural. This would be better for readers to get immersed in the reading.
Third, you could try explaining more things because I kinda got confused about how he knew all this stuff.
Fourth, you kinda add some unnecessary words in the sentence this makes it feel unnatural.
Fifth, some of the dialogue is kind of cringe this is my opinion Idk if any others think this.
Overall I'm liking the story so far.