Hey there!Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
Fouth wall breaks are everywhere and annoying, definitions on whats happening is excessive but only non useful info that we dont need. Keeps putting stuff like *slaps his forehead* which is really annoying and unnecessary you dont need to put the star signs and you dont need to keep making the characters actions over excessive and skips important info like what happen when kin fell in chap 5, you also skipped alot about the characters and their personalities. Also you could just write it like this. Ken was talking to the white ball, when suddenly his parents walked into his room. But soon Ken realized that his parents couldnt see the white ball of light and immediately calmed down. He then asked the ball of light “They can’t see you?” the ball of light then replied “ Yes, your are the only one who can see me.” Ken was surprised by this and soon became curious as to how.OrKen then spotted a light in the distance and realized it was the same kind of light he saw when he first met Will, Ken then realized that it was another important character and became excited. When Ken made it to the character and realized it was a girl and injured he became worried, so he and his father who was also running beside him helped the girl back to his house via teleportation along side Will.
Probably too early to write a review but I will write one for now to be reviewed later. The writing quality is of great quality, the characters are well defined for their roles, the military worldbuilding is nice so far and the updates is perfect. The chapters are long which I personally think is good. The storyline is developing well too but I will wait for more chapters to see better. But, so far, so good. Keep up the good work.
C.C. regarded the girl thoughtfully, tilting her head side to side. At first Kallen thought the girl was mocking her again but the hardness of C.C.'s eyes indicated otherwise.
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