Love love love it!! I'm a fan! The only thing I'd say is the tenses switch from present to past very often and the sentences can run on. But that can easily be looked over as I love the story and the tension driving the story!
This is getting very ridiculous now. Have you forgotten that you are charging for this book? As writer you are way way too laid back with your halfway writing and then finding excuses for each chapters finish the damn book you found time to write two other books while writing this so finish this one
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