A Pacifist in the Death World

The narrator gives up too much information freely, every three paragraphs has information that the narrator is just telling the reader. There is no suspense, no lead in, just straight explanations or telling the reader things. Which diminishes the value of any information if all of it is being told rather than shown. Every character is also treated like a joke, it makes it difficult to want to develop a connection to the characters. This is my current opinion as of chapter 15, this may change.

I really love your story! The way you’ve captured Alarion’s struggles in such a harsh, unforgiving world is incredible. His pain and resilience feel so real, and the world of Velgaroth is both captivating and intense. I’d give it a solid 4.5/5! Keep up the great work – I’m excited to see where you take this!